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| Gastric Bypass Surgery - BL's Story continues... |
"I've read Internet digests and forums for about a year and a half. I see no perfect WLS (weight loss surgery). I see people afraid to post complications and problems. I see many regaining their weight and having various health problems. Most of the health problems are more serious than the morbidities they had before their surgeries. I had no physical problems before I had my WLS. I was a young, healthy, 23-year old woman.
If I hadn't had my surgery reversed, I'm sure I would either be very ill or dead by now. All the people my doctor had done this WLS to have been reversed or are dead. Even though I'm heavy again, I have no high blood pressure, no diabetes, and no high cholesterol. I am very active and am strong. I love to garden. I haven't let my weight stop me from doing much.
I hope I can get back down to a more normal size again, but it won't be with some drastic mutilation of my digestive system. I'm in no hurry. Losing slower is less stressful on your heart and body, and it tends to be more permanent. Thankfully, over the years, larger sized clothing has become more fashionable so I don't feel bad about my appearance.
I have been married for 31 years to a nice man who has stuck with me through thick and thin (literally!). If you were to ask him his opinion, I'm sure he'd tell you that he'd much rather have a wife who isn't in and out of the hospital all the time. He likes having a wife who has energy to do things both with and for him. Back in the old days when I was sick, tired, and anemic, a lot of the burden of housework and cooking fell on him. He'd be the first one to tell you that HE HATES HOUSEWORK AND COOKING! I'm a much better partner now, and can handle things around here while he works so that when he comes home, he can enjoy his rest. He even lost a job because he missed so much work running me back and forth to the hospital. It was a very low time in our marriage. He was under so much stress. I'm glad that's all in the past now. I've learned that love--true love--does not depend on a number on a scale. My husband did not love me more when I weighed 116 pounds. He never stopped loving me, but it was difficult to be a full partner when I was so ill and tired all the time.
I always thought people would love me more if I was thin. How wrong I was! People love you as much as you allow them into your heart. It matters not what size you are on the outside. It matters most what size your heart is. My heart is now open to all without fear of rejection about my size. Dr. Phil says it so well, "You wouldn't worry how much people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did." That is so true.
My goal is to stay as healthy as I can. I won't lie to you and tell you that it's easy to lose the weight now. My metabolism is so damaged from my WLS. At my age--53--it is difficult, but it isn't hopeless. Where there is a will there is a way. Trust me--it is much easier to NOT gain than it is to lose. I make my scale keep me accountable for the choices I put into my mouth. It is not impossible. I don't obsess about the scale, but it is a daily reminder that I cannot go back to binge-eating and making poor choices. I want to be healthy no matter what size I am."
B.L.
Garden City, MI
Read more from BL about dieting and her closing remarks to those considering bypass
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